Just got home from another two day trip up to "The L.C.". I hate going back up there. No, I don't hate it, I get to see my friends and Jake loves to see his "Unkie and Kay", so that's good, but I really feel so much more like this house is our home. It happened almost immediately for me when we moved in; it's like we were meant to have this house. Isn't this how horror movies often start? LOL
I did well in L.C., no big tantrums (I'm really bad at the whole adjusting to going back and forth, even more so in the last few years) etc. I did immediately buy a pack of cigarettes, though. It's crazy, I go weeks at a time here in Kalamazoo without smoking at all and it really doesn't bother me. The minute that I step foot in that trailer in Lake City, though, I need to have a cigarette and I end up smoking a pack a day or more when I'm there. I hate the way I feel after I do it, I don't even know why I do. UGH!!!
In the end, the trailer we were going to use to bring down stuff like our bed and the rest of the big furniture wasn't useable - it needs new tires apparently, and it was too late in the day to get started changing them and still get here early enough for TJ to get any good sleep before getting up for work. So we came back to Kazoo together in the same car - mine. That means another week without a car. This has not been at all a problem for me in the month that we've been here; I don't drive. At least I haven't. Part of my "breakdown" included a huge and overwhelming fear of driving; also an almost equally disabling fear of being a passenger in a car. That I've gotten over, but driving was one that I really hadn't been able to conquer, until tonight. TJ was really tired and it had been a long day for him. He let me sleep this morning and took Jacob to the shop with him - pure bliss - and he was fighting to stay awake when we were only 20 miles or so outside of L.C. There was only one thing to do, take over the driving. I was nervous, but it was highway and so far out that it was pretty empty as well as being daylight (driving at night has always bothered me) so I went for it. What a rush! I not only got over my fear, but remembered how much I used to love to drive - I cranked up a little Pink Floyd on my Ipod (that's a whole separate post, how much I adore my Ipod...LOL) and I felt young again, with my sleeping husband and 3 year old son in the car :) I ended up driving us all the way home and now I'm so bummed to not have a car while TJ is at work the rest of the week.
This was not my intended post for today, btw. I sat down planning to say a few things about the Virginia Tech shooting, but just couldn't bring myself to. Too depressing, too horrifying and too real!! Goodnight, y'all.
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