It's amazing what actually getting up and ignoring all the ichiness (is that a word?) will do to you. I got up, went to the kitchen from hell and in 20 short minutes it looks great. I just couldn't take it. When you have to move things around in order to find a place to put your giant green tea cup (it's a TTC thing...but it really is GIANT. It probably holds about 20 oz or so. I love it!!!) you know things are too fucking messy!!! I don't use that word often at all since Jake's been old enough to copy what people say, but it was the only word that fit here. Being sick and stuck in bed for a week can really kill your kitchen cleanness. OMG. I just realized that after all that, I didn't start the dishwasher...DUH!!! I'm not to bright today.
It's amazing what taking the meds your body has grown dependant on will do. I've been awake for an hour and a half and an hour ago, I was in agony. I've taken the minimum dose of the Methadone and I'm feeling like myself again. ARGH!!! I hate being dependant on narcotics in order to function. I do know, though, if I go with nothing at all, my back is in agony. I really want to try stepping it down, though. I think that maybe my back would adjust well to small med decreases. Anyone with any experience in this area, please comment and let me know how it worked for you. So many people who haven't experienced this ask me what's so bad about getting to take medically sanctioned pills that make you feel good and that so many people buy illicitly for the high. Let me tell you: there's a HUGE difference between recreationally taking something and actually needing it. I don't get the "buzz" that people talk about; taking these pills makes me able to function. I want to be able to function on my own, it's like being a slave. You can't imagine the terror I go through if I go somewhere over night and realize that I forgot to bring my pills with me. We've actually turned around and gone 50 miles back on the way somewhere b/c I didn't have my pills with me. It's like being a slave to something that's stronger than you and I HATE it.
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